Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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