It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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