Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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