You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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