There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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