I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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