We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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