Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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