I must be too annoying 4 u.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
