I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How external is "for external use only"?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
