If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
