Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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