I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it was like eating out sand paper
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When did angry sex become our thing?
this hospital has no fireball
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
