O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
