dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
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