It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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