Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize