She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
