Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
