he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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