and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
