i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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