Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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