Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
