You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
