Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
