dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
