That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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