My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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