I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
