your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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