i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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