"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
