Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
