Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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