you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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