i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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