I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
