I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
