I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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