Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
