I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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