She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize