discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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