We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
