I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
