i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
