we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
