i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
