respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
