right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
