I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
