Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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