Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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