So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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