Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
