I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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