I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
