I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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