I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
