Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
