So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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