I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
